Wednesday Knights Blog

I said before that I thought the story in Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was crap. However, I still enjoyed the movie.

I have found two great posts that point out just a few of the problems with the story. First is the abridged script.

The abridged script from the begining of the movie:

HARRISON FORD

Alright folks, let’s get this show on the road. I want to make it to Country Buffet by four.

CATE BLANCHETT

Pryvet, Harrison. I am evil Soviet. You vill help me find Moose and Squirrel, yes?

HARRISON FORD

Holy Christ, you’re not going to talk like that the whole movie are you?

CATE BLANCHETT

Da. You vill help locate MacKuffin now.

HARRISON FORD

Fine. The thing you’re looking for is super magnetic, so if we just throw this gunpowder into the air it will lead us to the MacGuffin.

RAY WINSTONE

Nineteen years to write this movie and that’s how it’s going to start? Really? I think I’m going to write myself out of this movie as much as possible by revealing myself to be a double agent.

The second post is 50 Flaws of Indy IV. A couple of my favorites

14) What was the point of the scorpion sting on Mutt’s hand? Shouldn’t that have led to something else? Or a setup to a joke of some kind later? By the way, David, scorpions STING, they don’t BITE. I seriously doubt Indy would’ve made that little verbal mistake.

16) The second problem is that the discovery of the skull was too simple and too easy. He handed a corpse to Mutt and flipped up some fabric. Are you kidding me? Consider the past films and all the great care that went into the revealing of the all-important McGuffin, which was always made as special as possible for the audience.

20) The skull looked like cheap plastic filled with Saran Wrap. There was no discernible rhyme or reason to its properties except that they were carefully designed to save Indy whenever he was in trouble.

I am just glad to see that someone else agrees that the skull looks like something someone picked up at a Everything for $1 store. They spent $400 million dollars to make this movie and the main prop for the movie looked like something made by a bunch of kindergarten kids. WTF? I still don’t get that.